One of the best-kept secrets in business and life today is having the gusto to go out into the world and ask for what you want. More people fail to try in life than those that actually fail at something. According to Jacqueline Raw, Owner and Founder of Ycagel this is because we’ve become so conditioned to shy away from pain or being uncomfortable. “Most of us play it safe, only taking risks if we are certain it will work out and therefor never really achieve our full potential.”
Jacqui adds that key to being successful, is learning to ask for what you want, “To reach your goals in 2021 and survive post-COIVD, entrepreneurs and professionals, are going to need to learn the art of asking.
She offers 5 insights to help you develop these skills:
Insight 1: Become feedback fit
You’re not always going to be what your clients or boss want – THAT’S OKAY! People see situations from their perspective and through their own life lenses, their perspectives are their own. The art of becoming great at asking for what you want hinges on your ability to get this one skill in hand. Without feedback, you’ll never be able to grow – so fearing negative feedback is like fearing toothpaste… Seriously, it won’t harm, but it most certainly can help. Lean into asking for feedback; being feedback fit will be your greatest asset.
Insight 2: De-personalise Rejection
Closely linked to becoming feedback fit is your ability to de-personalise rejection. You cannot become courageous if you see rejection – when asking for what you want – as a rejection of who you are. If you’re going to go after what you want, you’re going to have to realise that you’re probably going to have to go through a lot of ‘no’s’ to get to your ‘yes’. The more you’re able to de-personalise rejection, the more courageous you’ll become.
Insight 3: Go or Grow
So, you’ve put yourself out there and one of two things has happened – You’ve either got what you asked for or you haven’t. If you haven’t you have one of two choices, you can use the feedback to grow and develop whatever skills you need to get your yes OR you’re going to realise that the situation isn’t right for you and you’ll go. Don’t fall into the limbo trap where you do neither and stay exactly where you are.
Insight 4: Don’t overthink it
When I hear how many people complain about what they don’t have in life, my first question is always, ‘what have you done about it? OR Have you asked for what you want?’ The two most common responses are nothing and no, and more often than not, the reason for inaction is that they have thought themselves right out of the game. People are storytellers and the most compelling, convincing stories we tell ourselves are the ones that outline why it’s safer not to go for it. The brain is designed to keep us safe and comfortable, so when we want to put ourselves out there it starts working to ‘protect’ us. If you really want to create a spectacular life – you’ve got to de-programme the overthinking.
Insight 5:
Just do it.
