From South Africa, Cape Town to Sudan: A story of abuse, human rights violation and abandonment.
My name is Marsha (converted to Misckha ). I am a 32 year old mother of two children, Malik aged 6 years and Arushka aged 1 year 10 months old. I was born on 16 May 1986 in Cape Town, South Africa. On 17 May 2010, I met my now ex-husband. I fell madly in-love with him because he was a gentleman and treated me well. He also seemed very ambitious as he was doing his Phd at the University of Cape Town at the time. I thought he loved me too and so I agreed to marry him at the Magistrates court in Cape Town after the birth of my first son in 2011. I converted to Islam and willingly learned and practiced my Islamic religion. I continue doing so and also teach my children to practice Islam. In 2014, my ex-husband got a job as a lecturer in Saudia Arabia. I had only my son of about 2 and a half at the time. He left us in South Africa to set up a life for us on that side so that we could follow him there.
In 2015, he instructed my son and I to join him. We first started living with the ex-in-laws in Sudan upon arrival while arrangements were made for us to join him in Saudia Arabia. In 2015 my son and I went to Saudia Arabia from Sudan to permanently live with ex-husband, we were very happy. I fell pregnant again and gave birth in 2016 to my second baby, a girl. He became physically abusive towards me while I was pregnant. I had a C section surgery and even after my surgery he physically abused me. This happened all because I refused for him to have a second wife in our marriage. He started online relationships with multiple woman sending nude pictures in Saudia Arabia (of which I have evidence), while I was pregnant and after birth.
He didn’t know how to get rid of me, so he decided to lie by tricking me and telling me that in order for our son to have a good education I need to take him to Sudan for better schooling and come to Saudia Arabia for holidays only, hence I still have all my belongings and important documents and certificates still with him of which he refuse to handover to me as well. I trusted him and agreed to make the move with our children. Little did I know that he actually final exit me and my children to where we now live in Al-Hatana Omdurman North Sudan never return to Saudia Arabia again. He was still calling his son, gave some money but then after few months everything faded until October 2017 when he called to say his divorcing me, only to find out that he already got married in June 2017 with another women from Algeria after I left Saudia Arabia in March 2017.
The fact that he was still married to me while getting married to another woman without my knowledge broke me. I’ve been moving four times with my kids in Sudan due to customary laws that states that single, unmarried women with children are not allowed to stay alone. No landlord was willing to take us in. During the divorce process in 2017, I stayed with the in-law family in an abandoned outside room, upstairs on a roof top balcony. That’s where we slept, under an open roof, without any blankets, without any food for me or my children. The grandfather promised to fix the place at the time but nothing happened. We had our plates and stove in the dust outside. The family started to get nasty with me, was having arguments with me beating my son ect. I asked my ex-husband to remove me from his parents place as I’m no longer married to him and that his son developed bronchitis because of the cold and dust as the doctor said. With that, he moved us into our own flat and promised to pay his kids 10.000 Sudanese pounds every month. But when we moved in, he told me he will only pay the rent and nothing else.
With this, I’m sitting here without money, clothes or even shoes on our feet or blankets. Absolutely nothing! Not even bread to feed my kids. My son is only 6 years old; my daughter will be two in August. She still wears nappies, I cannot afford these necessities as well. I have to beg for electricity and food from neighbours to keep us going. Right now my son started to develop anorexia; he is losing weight rapidly and crying every day of hunger. The family no longer worries with us but these are their grandchildren. It breaks my heart to see my children suffer this way. I call my ex-in-laws, they don’t take my calls. I’ve spoken to the grandfather, he ignores me. The family fully support the choices their son has made.
My ex-husband continues to abuse the power that he has over me by refusing to consent for my children to leave with me back to South Africa. I want to go back home and be with my family where I can get the necessary support. I want to heal and move on with my life and work for my children but my ex-husband refuse to sign consent for me to leave Sudan with the children. He has never seen the children for almost two years now. My daughter was only 6 months when she left, not knowing her father. Yet his not making an effort to even call them and make contact with his kids…Nothing! It was Eid holidays, but he never took the time to come and see his children. He doesn’t seem to care about them as he abandoned us in Sudan. I’ve been with this guy while he was still studying in South Africa at UCT, and now that he has a career and South African citizenship, he has thrown me and our two kids aside, abandoned us to die of hunger.
I have approached the South African Embassy in Sudan but they referred me to court as it is a domestic case and there are children involved. When I arrived at court it was difficult for me to receive help because of the language barrier and I was unable to afford legal representation. I’m now currently with the Sudanese refugee lawyers who has asked me to submit a proof of residence for where I live as well as the address for the ex-in-laws. Upon submission, they then required me to find a Sudanese citizen who was willing to sign in court for my release to South Africa and take responsibility for my return after a year. No one was willing to take on this responsibility voluntary, leaving me stranded once again. I decided to post my story on the Sudan buying and selling page and out of desperation offered money to the person willing to assist. This has put tremendous emotional and financial strain on my sister who is trying to help me from South Africa. She is battling to come up with the money especially for the fact that we have no other family members or support systems.
Looking at my situation and my children, I find it difficult to see how we will ever come out alive. I truly feel that our time is running out. I am afraid, I am hurting and I’m alone with my children in a foreign country where foreigners are seen as the outsiders. All I can do is to pray that God send someone who can rescue us from this nightmare. I also plead with government to bring us back home, to my nation, to my birth place, to my family.
I thank you.
WE ARE PLEADING WITH ANYONE TO HELP US BRING THIS MOM AND HER 2 CHILDREN HOME BY CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, 2019.
WE NEED YOUR HELP AS WE AS A NGO DON’T HAVE LOADS OF FUNDS TO KEEP HELPING CHILDREN THAT HAVE BEEN RAPED,ABUSED OR NEGLECTED AND IN THIS CASE A MOM TRYING TO GET HER CHILDREN SAFE AWAY FROM HARMS WAY.
PLEASE HELP US BY MAKING A DONATION SO WE CAN GET A LAWYER TO SUDAN TO HELP GET THIS MOM A EXIT VISA TO RETURN HOME TO SOUTH AFRICA WITH HER CHILDREN. THEY HAVE BEEN SUFFERING FOR YEARS, PLEASE DON’T LET THEM SUFFER ANYMORE.
YOU CAN MAKE A DONATION INTO THE FOLLOWING BANK ACCOUNT:
ENOUGH
FNB
BRANCH: 250655
ACC: 62827842982
SWIFT CODE: FIRNZAJJ
Reff: your name or Sudan help
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