Since yesterday, I have been wondering about Zuma’s visit to Zimbabwe to strengthen economic links.
What economic ties?
Are we going to import cattle dung from Zimbabwe to power up the energy utility, given the fact that even Molefe is driven to tears over the looming energy crisis?
People always expect ridiculousness from Uncle Bob. His welcoming greeting to Zuma, “I am glad to see that you are still in one piece” may still be a standing joke between the two statesmen, but the underlying truth is not over. The whole of Africa has come to realize that Zuma is the downfall of this country.
Moreover, Zuma’s wisdom (or rather the astonishing lack) therefore cannot be doubted. Here is a selection from the “Wicked Wit and Wisdom of Jacob Zuma” (a book that I intend to write someday and don’t worry it will not be a dense book.)
1. “There is no cloud above my head – there is not even a fog.”
2. “The ANC is more important than the Constitution.”
3. “Jan van Riebeeck’s arrival in Cape Town was the beginning of all South Africa’s problems.”
4. “The Constitution is just there to regulate matters.”
5. “We want to help eradicate all mud schools. We are already doing so. We are not in a hurry because no one is going to rule, but the ANC.”
6. “People tend to try to find something to talk about Zuma. My surname is very nice and simple. Very simple, so they like pronouncing it all the time. So what’s the problem?”
7. “Why do you say I should pay back the money? You don’t even know how much.”
8. “I did not use the public’s money in Nkandla. What I’m saying is I’m not guilty. Even if they look for me under a tree, they can’t find me. I’ve done nothing wrong. I did not do anything… They go around and say this fella used public money. I am not guilty; there is no case against me.”
9. “…we have more rights here because we are a majority. You have fewer rights because you are a minority. Absolutely, that’s how democracy works. So, it is a question of accepting the rules within democracy and you must operate in them.”
10. “People today think being single is nice. It’s actually not right. That’s a distortion. You have to have kids. Kids are important to a woman because they give extra training to a woman, to be a mother.”
11. “Africans are different. During our time, we did not have prisons because never did we say there was a problem could not be resolved. No problem could not be resolved. Every problem can be resolved. Prisons are done by people who cannot resolve problems.”
12. “Even if you apply any kind of lotion and straighten your hair, you will never be white.”
13. “As Africans, long before the arrival of religion and [the] gospel, we had our own ways of doing things… Those were times that the religious people refer to as dark days, but we know that, during those times, there were no orphans or old age homes. Christianity has brought along these things.”
14. “God expects [the ANC] to rule this country because we are the only organization which was blessed by pastors when it was formed. It is even blessed in Heaven. That is why we will rule until Jesus comes back.”
15. “Our media, which is very open and report on really everything, tend to exaggerate the crime issue… This is why one gets the impression that we have much more crime than other countries.”
16. “The majority in this country have not seen anything wrong with Zuma. I go with the overwhelming feeling of this country. If the majority says, ‘Zuma, do this,’ I will do it.”
17. “Me? Well, I don’t know, I must go to a dictionary and learn what a crook is. I’ve never been a crook.”
18. “As a citizen of this country, I’ve got to be honest with the people of South Africa.”
Read the original article by Daniel Lötter in Afrikaans on Front Nasionaal SA – blad
South Africa Today – South Africa News
