‘No 1’ clown Zuma to perform at Parliament

‘No 1’ clown Zuma to perform at Parliament

Chief clown Jacob Zuma will address Parliament, a place where he doesn’t often appear these days after receiving a clear hint or two that he might not be too popular, with his state of the nation address tomorrow. This will again be the opportunity for every MP to “show their colours.”

Undoubtedly Helen Zille will be dressed in some flamboyant designer outfit made by a local designer and costing the equivalent of twenty lavatories on the Cape Flats. Some other MP’s will be dressed in traditional wear, someone will no doubt think he is funny, like the one who dressed in an army pilot’s uniform last year and the Bros. Mulder & Co representing the FF- will be wearing grey suits and disappear in the crowd – nothing new in that either.

It is the EFF with the red over-alls and helmets / aprons that will be standing out, although probably not as much for their sense of fashion as for their complete lack of decorum. Julius is still threatening to disrupt the speech by asking Zuma about the Nkandla money. The DA says they won’t support such an action and the FF+ says they won’t tolerate it either, although it is not clear what they propose to do about it if it happens. I don’t quite picture Julius as a young African man meekly obeying the “Oubaas” when told to keep quiet anymore.

In the meantime the flamboyant and well-known liberal pastor Ray Mccauley of the Rhema Church also entered stage. He offered to mediate between the ANC and the EFF to try and prevent this disruption. I wonder if he ever thought what a peace agreement between jackal and wolf might hold in stock for the poor sheep! Rather let politics be the playpen of the politicians and stick to the pulpit, Pastor. You’re not doing too badly over there.

Another group not concerned about a possible disruption is a new party under the leadership of Lufuno Gogoro. They call Malema “a liar and a coward” and goes around dressed in purple, rather unimaginatively calling themselves “The New EFF.” Nothing to be concerned about though, there was a party called the “New Nationalist Party” once as well, but they didn’t amount to much either.

Just to complete the picture a number of far-right wing entities are calling on all South Africans to switch on all lights, fans, heaters, toasters, ovens, stoves, flat irons, geysers and everything else that might cause an electrical power failure and dump Parliament in darkness while Zuma is speaking. If ever! Escom will make sure that every one of us sits in the pitch darkness before they pull the lightplug on the Great Prophet of Darkness himself speaking!

All in all we expect a long, badly mumbled speech written by someone else ending every paragraph by: “We have a good story to tell.” As long as he doesn’t involve Jan van Riebeeck again, it promises to be a very entertaining hour or so. I’ve got my popcorn and strawberry Steri Stumpie ready.

“Ag pleez daddy won’t you take us to the circus?
Tomorrow night at six on the Es-Ay-Bee-Cee….”

By Daniel Lötter – Department Information
Front Nasionaal Suid-Afrika

Photo Credit

South Africa Today – South Africa News