ANC: Our Greedy Cuckoo Party

Opinion Piece by Lelouch Giard

ANC: Our Greedy Cuckoo Party
ANC: Our Greedy Cuckoo Party

The Common Cuckoo is a bird infamous for its underhanded habit of getting other birds to raise its young. The host bird’s nest is invaded by the cuckoo, generally one or more of the host’s eggs are destroyed by the cuckoo, and one or more cuckoo eggs are left in the nest. The Common Cuckoo is often larger than its hosts, and like a cancer the baby cuckoo can soon crowd out the host’s own surviving babies.

The ANC, in 1994, was an organisation that had surpassed a chequered, shady past tainted by terrible things done in the name of the Struggle. The 1994 ANC was under the leadership of a man who became a global icon for the way he transcended violence to greatly aid in peacefully solving the Apartheid problem that the violence of the MK had not managed to address. The 1994 ANC, it is entirely sensible to claim, was a political party deserving of leading our country. Sadly, this “egg” of our democracy – a party reborn from the Struggle into an age of democracy – did not survive to grow into a mature democratic force for good.

The Guptas, for all their evil deeds, their racism, their underhanded and divisive tactics, are not the cuckoo in this story. Shabir Sheik, despite being Zuma’s convicted partner in corruption, is not the cuckoo. The cuckoo is Jacob “Laugh It Off” Zuma himself. He snuck his way into the party, specialising in spying and sneaking about (as Head of Intelligence, he was presumably the best in the entire ANC/MK at those two things), and eventually it was revealed that he had, indeed, planted his own bad eggs. The corruption-friendly Zuma faction, commonly accepted to be composed of: a cuckoo Premier League; a cuckoo ANCWL that cares not about women at all; a cuckoo ANCYL that gladly let the youth go unemployed while Zuma steals; and a cuckoo patronage network that has long since choked out the ideals that the ANC once held dear.

We all have much work to do, so I’ll keep this brief. The ANC and its allies are a nest in crisis: the failed No Confidence vote made it clear to everyone that the cuckoos now outnumber and outweigh the few remaining offspring of the host.

In an ideal world, we could help the ANC clean house and expel the cuckoos. In reality, the ANC have adopted the cuckoos, refused the opportunity to clean house with the No Confidence vote, and are likely to elect Zuma Cuckoo #2 as the next ANC in December. The food these cuckoos eat, was supposed to feed the poor, grow the economy, build our nation. We cannot afford to feed these fat, greedy brood parasites any longer.

Reject the ANC. They are not worth your time, your money, your democratic vote. They’ll just feed it to the cuckoos until we all starve or leave for better prospects in barely-functional Zimbabwe.

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