“Don’t expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That’s true friendship.”
Mother Theresa
When someone achieves something exceptional, we seldom hear of the path they have walked to get there or the people who played a role in getting them there. It’s all part of the invisible social capital that helped to buoy that person upwards. But the mission of Afrika Tikkun to give every young person the opportunity to be the best that they can be has taught us an important lesson about those invisible things that help get young people across the finish line.
They aren’t always things we can provide, but if they make a big difference, then it is worth celebrating. One of the most significant ingredients over and above the obvious necessities of love, resources, family, education and the rest, is the friendships that one cultivates along the way. It can make all the difference.
Many young people in the townships where we operate say they want to get out of poverty, they want success, they want to be the next CEO or big entrepreneur. So they take every opportunity to further their education and themselves. What they don’t often realise is how a simple thing like friendship will help them along what is sure to be a challenging path. But the bigger your dream, the better your friends need to be.
We often hear about how the wrong crowd and wrong friend can lead you on a path filled with nothing but regret and loss. Especially as a young person. But we have seen how friendships change lives, motivate greatness and encourage that perfection Mother Theresa talks about when she says, “Don’t expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That’s true friendship.”
It’s highly underrated, but when it’s good, friendship is also highly effective. So our advice to ambitious young people? Choose your friends wisely and then have your friend’s back through thick and thin. If that person has dreams and motivation, knowing them from day one is surely going to be part of both of your stories of greatness. Valuing friendships and respecting and encouraging the dreams and hard work of others is the best way to grow your network, your social capital and your own emotional competency from early adulthood.
For example, the inventor Thomas Edison and the innovative industrialist Henry Ford were close friends throughout their lives. Through their friendship, they were able to develop new technologies and industrialise car production; changing the world forever. Marilyn Monroe’s friendship with Ellen Fitzgerald helped to catapult Fitzgerald to the legendary status she now has. Oprah and Gayle’s friendship is so close that many have speculated about the intimacy of the friendship – but their mutual success has a lot to do with their powerful friendship. And as Rosie O Donnell has said, “People don’t really understand or don’t have the privilege of seeing a friendship between two women that is that deep.”
The moving account of Kathrada’s friendship and support of Walter Sisulu and his family, as celebrated most recently by Lindiwe Sisulu is a South African story of how friendship can work to create bonds and enable other more palpably heroic acts that impacts a nation for posterity. Without the sacrifice and devotion of Kathrada’s friendship, who knows where we as a nation would be.
Afrika Tikkun’s impact would not be what it is if it wasn’t for friendships between young people who have found ambition, vision and purpose in common. They undertake an adventure together, challenge each other and grow together. Hazel Dube and Sidumisile Msimanga struck up a friendship when they met in Grade 8 at Barnato Park High School in Hillbrow. It all began when they were placed in the same group for a class activity, “We had to create a dance routine, I remember that Sidumisile disliked dancing, so she insisted on being at the back and got most of the moves wrong,” laughs Hazel.
Hazel introduced Sidumisile to Afrika Tikkun. Recently both girls won scholarships to study business at Maharishi Institute through Afrika Tikkun’s partner Internet Solutions. “With Afrika Tikkun, we have gone places we never dreamed we would go to and met people we never thought we would meet,” says Hazel. Hazel and Sidumisile say that this has not only helped their friendship blossom but also motivated and inspired them, and given them a strong sense of drive and ambition. Through all the challenges Sidumisile and Hazel have faced together, they have discovered more about themselves. “Hazel has made me more confident, taught me to speak out and most of all, to accept myself for who I am and what makes me different from everyone else,” said Sidumisile. Hazel says the same thing about Sidumisile. “When I was very depressed and it seemed like the world was ending and I was ready to give up, the voice of this young women saved me and healed me, through believing in me, trusting me and supporting and advising me”.
