Do you jump at the chance to meet people at a cocktail party or do you hide in the corner instead, hoping no one will talk to you? Do you not mind trying your hand at skateboarding, even though you know you’ll probably spend most of the session falling off? Just as some adults shy away from the unfamiliar and new, so too do some children. It’s all part of our complex character make up – a distinct mix of qualities that make us uniquely us.
But encouraging children to try new things is extremely valuable for their growth and development. Why? Well, kids who are afraid to fail, grow up into adults who can be crippled by this same insecurity. This can lead to them never even trying to work towards any of the goals they’ve set out for themselves, because they’re not confident enough to try.
Here are 4 ways to encourage children to try new things this year, so you can work towards a growth mindset, where kids learn and grow through new (and often challenging) experiences.
- Ask them about their favourite things
Maybe it’s their favourite food. Or their favourite author. Or their best friend. Ask them how they discovered this best thing of theirs. “Remember when you didn’t want to eat avocado but one day you tried it and now it’s your favourite food?”. This will highlight to them that everything is new to them at some point, and by not trying it, they could be missing out on something that adds a lot of value to their lives.
- Normalise failure
A lot of the fear around trying something completely new is the fear of inadequacy and of not succeeding. We need to start making failure part of living, and as parents we need to lead the way. You could chat through this at the dinner table each night, asking each family member to list something they did today which was difficult, which they didn’t necessarily succeed at. As we discuss our “failures”, show how we can learn from them, and even laugh at them together, so do we take the sting out of failure, showing that failure is actually the best way for our brains (and characters) to grow and strengthen.
- Divide the task or activity into smaller, more achievable ones
Going down that tall slide in the playpark may seem impossibly scary for your toddler, but you know how much joy they’ll get out of it, and they seem excluded as they watch all their friends doing it. So, start small instead.
Offer to lift them just a metre up the slide and let them see that they can get down safely, plus how much fun it is. The next time, lift them a big higher. And then the final time, let them go from the top. The same applies to any seemingly insurmountable task, from book reports to trying out new sports. On the topic of sport, look out for fun fitness events that the whole family can do together – such as the Magalies Monster MTB race and trail run, sponsored by Fedhealth.
Always encourage effort, not performance
Praise them no matter if they win first prize or miss a goal. It’s the effort that matters, not the end result. Once they become more used to this concept, and they see that your mood isn’t overly influenced by what they “achieve”, they’ll become more consistent, which will build their confidence.
Growth always comes just outside of our comfort zones. This year, encourage your children to try new things, and perhaps even try to do the same yourself. You may be surprised at the results.
